Do you feel as if finances in marriage are causing problems between you and your spouse? Do you often wonder whether financial woes have caused romance to exit, stage left? Is there a way to fix the problems disagreements about money causes? The hard fact is this: arguments about money can kill a marriage. Finding a way to come to an agreement about money can help restore harmony. Here are some simple strategies for improving your relationship with money, and with each other.
Your Views About Money
Do you view money as a tool? Or do you use it as a weapon? Many people feel strong emotions when it comes to money – which is why so many people get into arguments about how it should be used. It can be tricky to handle finances in marriage, in part because of that emotional attachment we tend to have to the green stuff. Changing your approach can be helpful.
• Be Strategic – When it comes to money issues, think of your marriage as a business. Every successful business has a budget, and each partner in the business is responsible for maintaining his or her budget properly. If you’re in a budgetary planning session at work, you don’t yell and scream at each other, do you? Viewing finances in marriage in a professional way can help you reach an agreement, and it can help you make the most of your money.
• Share – When you tied the knot, you probably didn’t say “what’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is yours” – but in many marriages, the partner who makes more money often feels resentful of the spouse who makes less. You’re in it together. Unless you married for money, you need to share your resources. The odds are good that the partner who makes less of an actual financial contribution contributes in other valuable ways.
• Debt Without Shame – Attempting to shame your partner is one of the worst mistakes you can make with finances in marriage. Instead of complaining about debt, find a way to resolve the issue. Do you think your partner has a problem? Instead of fighting, talk to a financial counselor or get help from an online marriage counselor. Often, it takes the intervention of a third, unbiased, party to shine a light on the big picture.
Balancing Finances in Marriage
Different people have different spending styles. Some like to spend, some like to save. Some are thrifty, and others like to have the newest and best of everything. If you’re not married yet, take time to talk money with your future spouse. If you’ve been married for a while and finances in marriage are causing problems, finding a way to balance your habits is a must.
• Work as a Team – Working together to save money can work miracles. Decide on a common goal, and make a strategy to reach the goal. Whether you want to save for a vacation, buy a new home, or simply see a certain number on your bank statement, having a goal makes teamwork easier and more fun.
• Make a List – Make a list of things each person would like to spend money on. Remember – each of you is an individual, and as individuals, you have your own wants, hopes and dreams.
• Get Kids Involved – Often, people with poor spending habits never learned to manage money as children. If you have kids, working together with your partner to teach good money habits can help you overcome your own less than perfect habits.
Overcoming the challenges finances in marriage cause can be tricky. Merging your goals and addressing the needs of each partner can help restore harmony and balance to your life as a couple.